Best Intentions Don't Get it Done

Do you ever wake up with the best of intentions and it just doesn't end up like that? Were you wondering if you are just living in the land of make believe?

I wake up every morning with the best of intentions as of lately and it all goes to pot by the end of the day.

I start the day with my favorite breakfast..usually egg beaters, mushrooms, diced bell peppers, bacon or turkey sausage, with a bit of salmon cream cheese, I bought hash browns again this last grocery trip, some Lite Silk, and Tropicana 50 or Motts Light.

Then I start cleaning house..you know cat boxes, vacuuming, feeding the animals, dumping all the trash cans, doing dishes, cleaning counters, sweeping floors, cleaning bathrooms.

I wander back into the kitchen around lunch time and lately not wanting the salad. Can you have salad burn out? I seem to have. Then I stare at all the vegetables in the fridge and wonder what I can fix with it? Then I walk out of the kitchen not fixing anything. Did I get overwhelmed? Did I get turned off? Did I just give up?

Then it's the afternoon, and if I'm not helping youngest with her homework, you might find me working on genealogy and noshing on popcorn or mini pepperoni and crackers.

I stare at the workout tapes thinking well I didn't get my walk in this morning..I should do a tape..and that's where it stays..My headache I wake up with is getting stronger and I wind up going and laying down..only to get up make dinner for everyone and then back to bed after dinner is over. At least dinner is from the menu I made up before grocery day.

I lay in bed and make plans for the next day..I'm going to wake up pain free and do all these things. I'm going to have an on plan day..I'm going to do great things.

I'm so wrapped around this cancer thing it's almost like I say I want to live but quit living. Quit pushing myself. Quit trying. The waiting is killing me. Waiting for a procedure that takes an hour or more pending what else they find.

It's not the right attitude to have right now.

I'll be going to the community college in the coming weeks and talking with an advisor regarding an Accounting Degree. I have much experience in Accounting, prior to being a stay at home mom. I had taken Accounting courses before and enjoyed it. I've taken aptitude tests that point me in the direction of Accounting. Now if I can make a home business out of it.

Best Intentions doesn't make it happen. I have to make it all happen.